Procrastination and avoidance. I’ve been struggling with both over the past month. Neither are conducive to a “prioritized” training schedule…nor to regular blog updates and posts! 😕 Speaking of which–
Back on the March 10th, I wrote a rough draft of a long training update covering the previous four weeks. Those weeks included my first run post-surgery, my first stint as a race volunteer, the end of the Stay Fit cycle (while I was recovering from surgery), and the beginning of my 10K training cycle. As you probably guessed, I never got around to writing the final draft. I do have some good pics I’ll include at the bottom, but I’ll spare you all the details of that month.
Procrastination is a serious problem for me, has always been, it is probably fair to say. It’s most of the reason why I started the Atomic Habits system, a means of creating the necessary daily habits to support my endurance training. By consequence, the daily habits will in turn (I hope) develop a regular daily schedule for me. (Structure! I need structure.)
Overall, I’ve probably managed a 1% improvement during the five weeks I’ve been tracking. I’m doing better in the four “habits” I’ve created and productivity is definitely more consistent. My training habit, on the other hand, still isn’t a thing. It’s the one habit I really need to be good at and, of course, it’s the very one I’m consistently failing at. Waandt-waah-waah… <wrong answer>
Full disclosure, during the past 45 days, I’ve missed 22 training runs. I’m barely keeping it above 50% compliance. (Run with Hal+ isn’t happy with me. When I start missing a lot of workouts, it stops sending me daily reminders. 😜)
My “streaks” only last for 2-3 days. The most recent started 3 days ago on Saturday when I did my 3-mile run out past my sister’s house. She and husband were in Kentucky visiting grand-babies and I was collecting eggs for them. I used that task, “bundling” it with my training run to get my shoes on my feet and butt out the door. I’d stop on the way back and collect the eggs. I did the same thing on Sun for a 5-mile run.
BTW, they have enough hens that I was collecting between 19 to 24 eggs a day! I was really impressed with the even two dozen I gathered on the second day.
Yesterday was rest day. Today is an easy 3-miles I will do this evening—the weather is cool enough today. The real test will be on Thursday for my first long run in almost 3 weeks. This week and next week’s long runs will be the “do or die” for my 27-mile training cycle.
That’s right, officially training for my first “marathon” (although technically, my first ultra-marathon, being .8 miles over the 26.2 miles of a marathon). I transitioned to the marathon training plan two weeks ago. My 10K training cycle will finish out during week 5 when I run my first event since September. That’ll be April 13 in Waco at Cameron Park.
It’ll be a challenge as I haven’t been training on technical terrain. I’m planning on running this week’s training run along a 10K course I downloaded from MapMyRun(?). I’ll be in Austin next week for my last long run before event day. I should be able to do it on some hilly, technical terrain there as well. BTW, the 10K event is named Toughest ‘n Texas, which might give you an idea of how challenging. There will be some runners doing an ultra (50K) on the course that day, brave souls.
I mentioned avoidance has also been part of my issues recently. The first couple of weeks in March, I spent the majority of my waking hours propped up in my bed listening to various audiobooks (entertainment, not education or self-improvement) while simultaneously painting by numbers in a phone app.
It took me a week before I recognized it as my “avoidance” behavior. I don’t suffer it too often these days. I just don’t get the same chronic high-anxiety I used to. Ironically, I rarely experience the physical symptoms of anxiety these days either, but the avoidance behavior will pop up even when I don’t know I’m anxious. So frustrating and makes it hard to pin down the source.
Took me another 3 or 4 days to realize an upcoming “volunteer” weekend was provoking the behavior. Volunteering at trail events is something I’ve been talking about doing for years. Not only do you earn credit toward future races (very helpful given the rising cost of everything and my reduced income), you also meet and interact with individuals within the trail/ultra running community.
The hold up on volunteering and meeting new people is what is always holding me back from new experiences: I’m too anxious to do it solo and want a “buddy” to do it with me. At least until I get experienced at the activity–and additional social interactions. (Social Anxiety Disorder is a bitch!)
I had managed a mini volunteer experience during the North Texas Ultra. Gigi was volunteering there that weekend herself, but we were on different shifts. I did hang around with her ringing my Ragnar cowbell for the runners coming across the start/finish–for their next loop, if they weren’t finishing their chosen distance. (Usually, there are multiple distances running simultaneously at a trail event. For example, the T‘nT event in April will have 5K, 10K, 10-mile, 20-mile, and 50K runners all running portions of the same course, starting and finishing at the same place.)
For the upcoming Grasslands Trail Run, I was volunteering entirely solo (Gigi was running the 50-miler) at three different jobs: flex help, van driver (night), and loading. The loading, at least, was familiar from my mini volunteer experience. In total, it was a 2-day stint, with part of it overnight.
I decided subconscious anxiety over volunteering was provoking my avoidance behavior. Consequently pinning down the source, moved the anxiety more into my conscious mind, but that I know how to deal with and the avoidance behavior was diminished. The better result would have been for it to have disappeared entirely, but no such luck. I was still feeling it enough that I put off packing for the trip until the morning I was leaving. Bought more stress for myself which could have been avoided! (Huh, good avoidance behavior? 😉)
Ft. Richardson State Park, Jacksboro, TX. Lost Creek Reservoir State Trailway. Feb 17, 2024.
Freestone Co. TX, Mar 4, 2024
